Born To Run 2016. Breathe. Love. Run.

In the event like in the picture, the amount of awesome is off the charts.

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In my mind, I pictured the customs officer at the airport, opening up my bag with a puzzled look.

“You said you’re a runner. What’s the cowboy hat for?”

“It’s mandatory.”

“Do you always travel with a flag?”

“Everytime I go to the ranch.”

“You’re also bringing a Hawaiian shirt and a tie?”

“Yes. For prom night.”

“Sir. Where the hell are you going?”

“Dude. Born to Run!”

Born to Run Planet

No other event in the world gathers more goofy, drunken, crazy oddballs than the Born to Run Ultras, held every year on the Chamberlain Ranch in Los Olivos by the craziest of us all, the diva-basher himself, The Sheriff - Luis Escobar.

"Ask me again
where the microwave is"

The rules of engagement are as simple as they get. “Be nice or go home”.  Pack whatever stuff you feel appropriate, including a couple changes of running clothes, and you’re good to go. You can camp out in your car, pitch a tent, rent an RV, crash somebody else’s setup, hang your hammock or probably even find yourself a consenting BTR citizen willing to share their sleeping bag. It’s all good.

Happy Hour starts early morning Wednesday and usually lasts until late Monday night. You can have breakfast with your morning beer and brush your teeth with Fireball. That’s what the cinnamon’s for, right?

While at the ranch, you can choose from a wide range of activities, spanning from fuck-all to a wrestling match with US Marines, with anything from bola racing to the no-talent show in-between. Simple tasks such as going to your tent to get a t-shirt can take from several hours all the way up to never, including shit-I-forgot-what-I-came-here-for.

See what I'm sayin' ?

You will hang out with people named Wild Bill, Whiskey Jerry, The Marshmallow Man, Tarzan, The Skirt Guy or  Barefoot Ted while listening to mariachi music and watching the Copper Canyons Raramuris challenge some gringos to a ball game.

You will need an unspeakable quantity of your beverage(s) of choice, which will be abundantly shared with everyone to make sure no one ever runs out. Make sure to keep 4 cans of cold brew for the infamous beer mile, which keeps growing bigger every year. Matter of fact, we might just have ran the largest beer mile ever held. Be ready to get a swig of anything that’s passed around, with frequent encounters being tequila, whiskey and Fireball. Hydrate profusely or live the next-morning consequences… which might be unavoidable anyway.

BTR - Best enjoyed with buddies.

Whether you bring buddies or not, you will be surrounded with all your best running friends, making the whole event feel like a huge dirtbag family reunion. No one will remain a stranger and you will live many “I finally get to meet you” moments with very, very cool people. The age ranges from a couple months old to venerable, but no one ever acts their age anyway.

The 100-mile winner, getting ready
for her mandatory butt-slap run

You won’t eat a proper meal and get a decent night’s sleep the whole time and you will be extremely surprised to see how well you run when the time comes. You will know that moment has arrived when blaring norteño music and shotgun shots ruin the only two hours of sleep you thought you might scrape.

You will get to do anything you want, from cross-dressing to dancing like an imbecile and everything – and I mean everything – in between. Your cheeks will be sore from grinning, your voice might run out from the whooping and hollering and your arms will hurt from all the hugs you gave and got.

You might end up naked posing for a calendar or dressed as a Mexican luchador, running around getting your butt slapped. You might run up a hill as fast as you can for absolutely no reason. You might have a beer with a guy dressed like a tree or relax in a multi-hammock tangle under the oaks. You might also be served a side of rattlesnake.

Whatever you do at Born to Run doesn’t really matter, however. What does is, you will get to be a careless kid hanging out with some of the absolute coolest people on the planet. You will witness amazing feats of endurance and discover what an amazing machine your body is. You will fill your heart with laughter, friendship and love. You will breathe life with every pore.

And you will never, ever want to leave.